Tips on talking to kids about depression

Because there is often a stigma attached to mental health conditions, children can feel ashamed to talk about their worries, obsessions, compulsions, impulsivity and other behavioral problems. Talk with them about what they are experiencing. Listen with curiosity and empathize with them. iSTOCK/COX

Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto

Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto

Because there is often a stigma attached to mental health conditions, children can feel ashamed to talk about their worries, obsessions, compulsions, impulsivity and other behavioral problems. Talk with them about what they are experiencing. Listen with curiosity and empathize with them. iSTOCK/COX

Talking about depression can be difficult at any age, but talking to children or teenagers about it can be more difficult. They might not know how to express how they are feeling or might be afraid to express those feelings.

On the other hand, parents might not know how to approach the topic because they often have their own pressures and stress that they feel are on a higher level than a young person. However, life is much more complicated now with technology and social media, and those are things parents might not think about.

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According to the Centers for Disease Control, anxiety and depression diagnoses have increased over time for young people ages 3-17 from 5.3% in 2003 to 8.4% in 2012. One of the best things parents can do is to talk about it with their kids.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness has some tips on talking to kids about depression.

Make an analogy to a medical problem: Children understand if they are sick with strep throat, they need to take medicine and rest. Parents can tell kids that mental health issues can cause physical conditions. However, these conditions can be treated with medicine and behavioral support.

Listen and validate their experiences: Because there is often a stigma attached to mental health conditions, children can feel ashamed to talk about their worries, obsessions, compulsions, impulsivity and other behavioral problems. Talk with them about what they are experiencing. Listen with curiosity and empathize with them.

Be sure they know it’s not their fault: Many children with mental health conditions can feel that their condition is their fault or that it is an unchangeable feature of their personality or identity. Stigma and misinformation often reinforce these feelings. Help them see that mental health conditions are common and that it is not a sign that something is wrong with them as a person.

Have frequent conversations: Have conversations about emotions, thoughts and behaviors that are a part of a child’s condition from the time it begins. As they get older, they will better understand themselves and will look at the parent as a trusted person for them to go to for help.

Let them ask questions: Be open with kids when they ask questions about their symptoms and treatment. If a parent is not able to answer a question, they should acknowledge that and then get the answers from a trusted licensed professional.

Include the family: If everyone in the family knows about a child’s depression, symptoms and treatment, it will be easier for the child to trust the family and know that they have many people they can go to for help. Being transparent will help to normalize the conversations around depression.

Discuss self-care and prevention: Mental health conditions are a complex interaction between biology, psychology and environmental factors. Teaching children to practice self-care, including maintaining a healthy diet, exercising regularly, meditating and getting sufficient sleep, are instrumental in preventing relapses and diminishing symptoms.

Don’t be afraid to talk about suicide: If someone with depression doesn’t get help, this could lead to suicide attempts. Suicide attempts among adolescents and young adults ages 10-24 increased by 56% from 2007-2017, according to the CDC. Asking about suicide may be a relief for everyone involved.


Get more online

NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness: samhsa.gov/resource/dbhis/nami-national-alliance-mental-illness

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